Graduate Education

So graduate education makes you stupid. I think this is sadly true for everybody. Except for me, of course.

Emptiness

I sent my third paper to my dissertation committee and I'm await comments. Even though I'm probably still far away from finishing the dissertation, I experience a strange feeling of emptiness. I surely have what to do (some magazines and fiction books to read), or I might even work, but I feel strange anyway. I actually did start looking for fourth topic, but I was google old idea solved in a few seconds. But I also don't feel like I need to - I'm not looking for a job at a university, and I don't even plan to continue the research. It's probably time to polish existing texts.
P.S. I'm required to have three papers to finish my dissertation. Thus, I'm quite close, unless my committee rejects the paper.
After two weeks of waiting, first comments came. They are positive. Two more to go...

Sanity Check

Writing a dissertation is difficult for many reasons. Primarily, it is very independent, very long-term work with uncertain outcome. It is very hard to evaluate progress or lack thereof. And even if you notice lack of the progress, it is hard to really know why.
You may be doing progress faster then usual yet fail to notice, you may be working on the wrong idea/topic, or you may be simply too stupid to produce anything original and useful.
I wasn't happy with my progress from the very beginning and it was driving me crazy for a long time. I'm still not happy, but finally I found a way how to keep myself sane. Here it how it works. Remind yourself that

1. You are (among) the best. Yes, you are - no matter how do you feel about it, you are easily in top 1% of the world population in terms of education, intellectual ability, knowledge and/or future income.

2. You can do it. Seriously, most people finish and you probably know plenty of those whose research is appalling by your standards. No matter what you produce it will be better than that, which is more than enough.

3. End is close (this helps if you are at least in the middle). It does not seems so right now, but you can probably think of steps you need to take to finish. Split the task into small pieces, make sure that the timing is reasonable and get to work. It will be over sooner than you think. Remember, the time is running faster in the second half.

4. Quality matters, but you need to choose the right scale. You have read hundreds of papers, most of them published in the best journals or written by the "gurus" of your niche. Don't expect that your first paper will be as good or produced as fast as papers written with 20 years of experience. Strive for quality, make sure that your work makes basic sense, but remember that most than 1/2 of the publish research is never referred to.

5. You are living the worst and the best time of your life. On one hand, you are totally independent. If you take a day off, most likely (depends on your field) nobody notices. Even if you take a week of, it would be OK. On the other hand, you are your own boss and you can be pretty tough, can't you? Also, you don't have any money. Don't worry, there is probably plenty of money waiting for you in the future, but you will have no time to enjoy them.

6. It is enough to finish just this part and the rest will be easy. Choose a specific goal, finish it and then choose another one. It will be getting easier and easier. First paper is the most difficult.


7. Find a co-author, ideally not your adviser. Dissertation committees don't like papers co-authored by your adviser, but other students as co-authors are welcomed. Find one for at least one paper, possibly (depends on your school and your job market goals) two. If you get stuck, they will help you to move along and produce something. If they are more experienced than you, even better. You will learn by doing and finish a part of your dissertation along the way.

8. Visit presentation by other graduate students. It helps to keep you informed how they are doing and you never know when you meet even bigger looser than yourself and thus improve your self-esteem.

Thing I did not do but that can help a lot.

9. Finish first paper as soon as possible. Nothing helps more than to know that 1/3 is over. Seriously. If you have 3 papers in various stages of progress, but none of them published, it feels like you have nothing! (I know, I live it every day). Focus on publishing one paper, if it is possible (and makes sense).


Repeat the previous points to yourself as often as needed, focus on those that help you most. And relax, it's fun. Or perhaps, it will look like fun when you will be 60 years old.

Quality rules. Not.

One of my colleagues from UCSD office came to me with question whether I know anything about Stata. Yes, as a theoretical micro economist, I know (very) little* about Stata. And the reason why she asked was that she is going to teach a course in econometrics, heavily based on Stata, in two weeks.

I have to say that this was the last piece necessary to crack my mental health today. Why should I even try to write a decent paper/dissertation? The world is probably ruled by people like this lady, who are paid (and will surely embellish their CV) for doing something they have no idea about, who cannot possibly do a good job for the students yet do it anyway. When the rule "If you want to teach something, you should know something about it!" lost its power?

More broadly (and depressingly) - what I'm doing here? Why didn't I go to the beach (or National Park) like a friend from unnamed Central European country, who came as a grad student with a finished PhD. and who keeps complaining how little opportunities we have here in San Diego "to socialize". (BTW: he even complaints about how much people from his country complaint.).

I hate days like these...




* There is no field further away from Stata then theoretical microeconomics.

Slow progress and multitasking

At the beginning of my PhD, and especially after I clarified my research ideas, I was hoping for fast progress. As usual, it did not realize. I had a couple of alternative explanations (topic is bad, research is difficult, I'm not smart enough, I'm not working hard enough).
After some thinking, I found out that the problem is concentration and multitasking. I'm not talking about working on one idea in the morning and on the other in the afternoon (and writing a blog in the evening), but about solving a model and say, talking to your friends over IM and reading a newspaper. The multitasking killed my ability to focus, to remember and to work hard.
There is a research why, but I'm still looking for how to reverse the process.

Not so sure

Here is a description how to be successful at Harvard. I'm not sure they are telling the whole truth and I'm pretty sure this is not unusual.

Free Food

I always thought that my everyday quest after the ultimate source of free food was specific to my preferences, while in fact, it is specific to my status of a PhD. student. I feel much happier now, knowing I'm not nuts and/or alone. Moreover, there is some chance that one day, it will be over.